This. Is. Insanity? Or Am I Insane

I was raised in Savannah, GA. Born in 1977, I was placed in (court-ordered) rehab in 2012. DUI, among other things. I was, and still am, a single mom. My son, Alex, was 6 when I went to rehab, where I stayed for 6 months. My mom and stepdad kept Alex while I was away. They put him in a private school near their home in Vidalia, GA. I love Alex, he is smart and sweet, extremely intelligent. :( ... And I am failing him. His private school is the flavor Southern Baptist. I was raised in that flavor, somewhat. Sort of. My dad was a crazy alcoholic, and history repeats.

Anyway, it’s taken me a year or two (or four) to start to come back to life following my stay in rehab. And today, while helping Alex do his homework, I see some insane shit in his science book. I am not doing very good here in rural GA. I have a college degree and a criminal history. I have massive student loan debt. I get $100 a month in child support. My most recent job was at McDonald’s. I probably deserve to be right where I’m at (shame + guilt = me). But I don’t want Alex to be fucked. I am stuck and lost. And lonely. The people around here are different than me. Not “worse” or “better” than me. Different.

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See the pics. I am beginning to think I am the crazy one. I do not have a single friend I can call (that would understand) what I’m upset about. I can’t afford to relocate

yet. And I moved Alex from school to school before rehab. It was really hard on him. I would feel so guilty moving him again. The public schools around here are not very good, but ... the school he is in now seems insane. Or maybe I am. Pic is flipped? fml

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Illustration for article titled This. Is. Insanity? Or Am I Insane
Illustration for article titled This. Is. Insanity? Or Am I Insane

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